Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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