at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
