Quick, to the slutcave!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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