is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
