i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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