I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
