Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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