ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
