Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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