there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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