now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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