there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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