we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Success! We fucked roommates!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
