i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
