Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
