did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
