hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
