I wish I could teleport
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I see more hoeing in ur future
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
