Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
