You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
