the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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