it was like eating out sand paper
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
This house was built for laser tag.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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