Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
