You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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