I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
