THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
