my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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