Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
