Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
