3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
