Porn is love you can see.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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