is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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