Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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