Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
