Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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