I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
