I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
