Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
