I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
