There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
