Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
