oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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