I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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