i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
