I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
