Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
