I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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