Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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