babies were throwing up all over the place
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
