So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
