I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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