I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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