I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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